My Destroyer
by Nymbis
Summary: The ending to Book 11, told in Chris’s perspective as he feels the inevitable come to pass. Can be seen as a companion to Grief, but stands alone.


_My Destroyer_

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**By**: Nymbis

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**Summary**: The ending to Book 11, told in Chris's POV as he feels the inevitable come to pass. Can be seen as a companion to _Grief_, but stands alone.

**AN**: Spoilers for Book 11 if you haven't read it. Since a couple of people like the _Grief _one shot, and I believe a couple of people asked or wondered if there would be a continuation, I thought that it would be interesting to get Chris's thoughts as he passes on. Not exactly a continuation, but another piece for the fellow CnC ship. I took a few lines from book 11, and they are all in _italics._ Cuz I love the _italics_ oh so much!

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I found it hard to believe that it would be she who ended me.

She, the one who had granted me my first love, my first dance, my first feeling of humanity. It would be her that erased my existence from this world.

A wave of detachment passed over me with exceeding strength. I felt disconnected from my surroundings, I felt like a spectator.

A spectator watching someone who was about to be destroyed by his lover.

I had survived wars, famine, plague, and two thousand years of ever-changing life, to be eradicated by the only person I had ever opened up to.

I now realize that human emotion is an unbearable weakness that one should be constant to avoid at all costs, if one wishes to survive. My love for a fellow person had unearthed the tiny crack that would eventually shatter me. That tiny feeling of hope that had in the end, destroyed hope utterly. Irony, is really never far from agony.

Did I know that adding that tenth step would be my undoing? Yes. If I could go back in time to change it, would I? Definitely not.

As much as fear and pain were filling my soul and thoughts, the tenth step needed to be done. I was the Scroll Keeper, my job was to use that position to overcome the obstacles.

Yet, love is what tampered my resolve to continue on in this world. I had failed my task, my mission, my meaning. I had failed it because inside of me, the overwhelming feeling of predatory protection for Catty pushed aside all reason, doubt and fear. I knew that going to her father would ultimately start a sequence of events that would end in my life. I knew he would betray his daughter and me. He was a Follower, and that's what Followers do.

But, I was desperate. Desperate to reclaim my humanity and to spend the remainder of my mortal life with Catty. I wanted to go back to being just Chris, I was tired of having to be the faceless role of Keeper of the Scroll. I was scared of loosing the terrific feeling I had just regained with Catty, to ability to feel, to hurt, to laugh, and to cry. She had ignited a spark within me that urged me to press on, to find a way to free myself from this burden, and to try and rekindle the emotions that were lost to me so long ago.

So when her father had offered me the ultimatum, I had readily accepted.

The moments of waiting for her to arrive in Nefandus were nerve-racking. I had gone so long without her, and now that she was moments away, I could not withstand the urge to be with her anymore.

And then the dream had come.

While I knew what I was doing was wrong, I wanted to be gone from my duties, I wanted to have a normal relationship with the one I loved, and to leave the business of the Atrox versus Selene behind me.

Although Selene was never one to give up on her messengers. In the dream, she had spoke to me, she had promised me that I would be free from my duties, though it would require the ultimate sacrifice. One beyond what anyone else could ever imagine. She also said, that if I followed along in this plan, Catty would be dead. She offered me the choice, the choice of loosing Catty, or the choice of leaving this would with the destruction of the Scroll. I had chosen Catty's protection over my own, and my plans of leaving both worlds of light and shadow behind me were ruined.

Soon after I had awoke, she had come. The other Daughters were with her, and even Jimena.

The thoughts of forewarning and the inevitable end flew from my mind when I lay eyes on her. All I could think about was her, and how she and I belonged together.

Sadly, as quickly as those emotions had entered, they left. I felt a scowl come across my face, and all I could think about was her safety. I told her she should never have come, forgetting that it was in essence, I who had led her here.

But Catty was never one for compromising, she stood there, stubborn as always. Yet there was something in her that I was feeling for the first time, a look into her eyes told me that there was fear. Fear of this place, fear for her friends, her father-

-Fear for me.

It was then that I first truly realized what would be happening to me. She was afraid for me, Catty, who had never been honestly scared in her life, was afraid for me.

I knew then that my existence of Chris, Keeper of the Scroll, would come to a conclusion shortly.

After a few of my heedless warnings, I finally convinced Catty to talk to me alone. I tried to inadvertently tell her what was going to pass, I tried to tell her what was going to happen to me, and to her.

I tried to tell her that she would become a Destroyer.

But she brushed away the comments, as if she wouldn't believe them. I had expected this reaction, however, and new that my words then would give her the courage to do what was going to come to pass.

Eventually her father had arrived, Followers not being known for their underestimation. It had been he who had spelt it out for what Catty had to do. And it was he who unveiled the act that was going to come to pass.

I'll never forget the words.

"_If you destroy the Scroll, you'll destroy the Keeper as well."_

Catty's face had taken on a look of shock, as if she had just realized what she had to do. What her destiny commanded of her, and what my destiny commanded of me.

"_Is this true?"_ She had asked, her voice full of disbelief.

Shakily, I responded, _"My life is bound to it." _

I was trying to sound brave; I was trying to sound fearless. While on the inside I felt like I was already dying. My panic threatened to overwhelm me, but I kept reminding myself that it was Catty or I. And Catty still remained the better of the two.

She seemed full of doubt, and it was obvious from the contortions on her face that she was struggling with an internal battle. She looked at me and our eyes met.

I never felt so low and terrible in my entire life. It was my fault that she was having to struggle so much over such a simple thing. This was her destiny, and she couldn't escape it. I wanted her more than anything to refuse to fulfill the prophecy, but it was inescapable. One of us would die tonight, and I was determined to have it be me.

So I choked out the words that I thought I'd never say, _"Free me."_

And she responded exactly how I thought she would, _"I don't think I can do it."_

I had to refuse the urge to chuckle. It wasn't a matter if she could do it, it was a matter of what she must do. She was the daughter of a Fallen Goddess and a Follower, this was her destiny. This was her part to play in the destruction of the Atrox. _"You must do it."_

Her father tried to offer the false promises of the Atrox, and it was hard for me not to sneer. The Atrox could not thwart what was meant to be. It would come to pass eventually, if not tonight, then sometime in the near future.

And then it felt as if realization hit her. She finally understood. And a bittersweet smile crossed my face, she had discovered why she was born, and why she was there tonight. After she pulled out a piece of paper from her pocket, she looked up at me.

I saw the tears welling in her eyes and it was then that I understood. It was my time to say goodbye.

I wanted more than anything to be angry at her, or to hate her. But it wasn't her fault that she had this burden on her shoulders, much like it wasn't my fault that I fell in love with my destroyer.

I tried to put on a brave smile, to give her comfort and to reassure her that she had made the right choice, _"Quickly. It has to be done."_

Her heart went out to me then, _"I can't."_

Once again the issue of can and can't was brought up. This was not her choice, no matter how much either of us wanted it to be, _"Do it Catty." _I stated a little too harshly, _"Don't make me suffer anymore." _Yet what I was really saying was don't suffer for me anymore.

She nodded and I stared at her. I watched her silently as she called up the moon from within her own spirit.

The bright light was intoxicating, and I was entranced in its loveliness. So beautiful, yet dangerous at the same time. I could feel the remorse and sadness flowing through the air like currents. And I could feel the warming embrace of Selene coming to me.

I had made the right choice.

My time had come to a close, as it was meant to. I had served my purpose, and Catty still had one to complete.

Selene wanted me back.

I could feel it's light swarming around me, carefully picking me apart. I felt the rush of old memories of times past come to me. They were memories of my family, my home, and my time as Chrysippius, warrior of Sparta.

They rushed to meet the memories of new, the memories that seemed to revolve around Catty were the most common ones.

As the two halves met, I felt whole, and it was then that I began to let go of this world.

"_You're the embodiment of the Scroll now, Catty." _I said, trying to tell her that her job on this earth was not yet over, _"My job is complete. No heir before you has had the courage to do what you did. The prophecy has been fulfilled." _

My voice took a form of sincerity and superiority, and seemed to echo through the empty world of Nefandus.

I looked down to discover that my hands were no longer there, I was bathed in a portal of golden light, and while half of me was eager to continue my journey to Selene, the other half remained steadfast, determined to try and warn Catty.

"Only the true heir will have a heart brave enough to destroy the Scroll before setting out on its path. That's the tenth step. The others before you were too afraid to destroy the manuscript. They relied on its power more than the power within themselves."

Those were the final words I ever said to Catty, I tried one last time to reach out and comfort her, to hold her. But I had overstayed my time, and Selene was calling me back to her.

I watched silently as another came and took my place, and sighed wistfully.

Destiny had drove us apart, but it would be Destiny that would bring us both together again.

_Fini_


End file.
